For The Player That Has Everything.....

Well guys, it's that time of year again. The time where malls are crowded, the snow is falling and time to buy people who you borderline dislike gifts. With it being Christmas Eve and all, I figured I'd make my own list. Everyone has someone who's harder to shop for, and it got me thinking what I would buy each player if I had to. I present to you, the 1st annual, Sens Town Gift List. Enjoy!

Daniel Alfredsson- A better gambling sense. I wonder if he will dare bet against Canada for a THIRD time. Love you Alfie but maybe stay away this time, learn your lesson. After last night, perhaps a bodyguard as well. Is Mart McSorley still alive? I'm joking, I know he isn't.

Chris Campoli- A signed, framed picture from the goalie he famously scored two overtime winners on in a matter of seconds

Matt Carkner- Personal Assistant to pinch him daily to remind him he isn't dreaming. Playing in his hometown, with a fresh one way contract is the best present he ever could have hoped for.

Jonathan Cheechoo- A scoring touch, just kidding, sorta. How about a record label so this guys talent reaches the world. And ya, a scoring touch too.

Shean Donovan- Some new teeth and a permanent spot on the 4th line the rest of the year.

Brian Elliott- Spotty goal cream. Destroys 82% of all momentum killing goals.

Mike Fisher- Soundproofing for all his walls, for I think we all know why, or does just being engaged not count?

Erik Karlsson- A one way ticket to either Binghamton or Sweden, he can pick. That or a lifetime supply of cheeseburgers so he bulks up.

Nick Foligno- I would say some speed skating classes but to be honest, I really just wanna see him do his father's patented leap after every goal, which I hope starts to come in more frequent manner.

Chris Kelly- Some human hands made of flesh, instead of the stone one's he currently has.

Alexei Kovalev- A map to remind him that he lives in Ottawa now, not Montreal, just kidding, kinda. I meant to say a new blu ray player, so he can play his new video in sparkling HD, if only those moves were useful in an actual game.

Filip Kuba- An imaginary friend to remind him that he is 6ft5 and that hitting IS allowed in the NHL.

Pacal Leclaire- Some windex to clean his glass body with.

Brian Lee- I'd donate all my frequent flyer miles, so he can at least travel in business class when he's getting screwed over for no reason. And maybe some hair dye.

Milan Michalek- Do they make the equivalent of winter tires for skates?

Chris Neil- A good lawyer, so he can avoid going to jail on a robbery charge on that 4 year contract.

Chris Phillips- The DeLorean + Marty McFly & Doc Brown, so he can go back to game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals and make sure that goal never happened

Alexandre Picard- Lasik eye surgery, so he can see when he's out of position, or making an errant pass, or coughing up the puck, or so he can read the box score and understand that stats don't men everything.

Peter Regin- A shrink, so he can work out that whole Peter Regin, Peter Jensen thing. And some lego, to remind him of home.

Jarkko Ruutu- Some new plates and cutlery, to go with Andrew Peters' hand.

Ryan Shannon- Some stilts so maybe he can crack the 5ft10 barrier. Is he still married to Smurfette?

Jason Spezza- I would buy him Fran Drescher, so his laugh would sound less annoying by comparison.

Anton Volchenkov- A day at the Spa. He just seems like his body would need some pampering.

Jesse Winchester- Some nice personalized stationary, so he can write thank you letters to Jim O'Brien, Zack Smith and Cody Bass, for all not living up to expectations and allowing him to have a job.

Bryan Murray- The device from Men In Black that erases people's memory, so he could try and convince us this isn't the team we're left with 3 years after a SCF appearance.

Cory Clouston- A megaphone, so the refs can't ignore his yelling for a single powerplay per game.

So there you have it, what I would get each player. What do you think? Feel free to post your own one's. Merry Christmas Eve everyone.

-The Mayor